Nomadic Suitcase

As a part of 'Art For Grabs' last December 2017, Speak City Asia curated the opening ceremony with 'Poetically Correct: Dirty Laundry/Laundry List' Edition. I am thankful to be a part of the line up and was quite nervous, I faced my fears with the motivation that I had to performed in front of my mother for the first time. She is my endless support and comfort zone. It has been four years since I returned from Russia, I still feel unsettled and somewhat nomadic.

I have tried to unpack my suitcase
time and time again
Season after season
Year after year.

A part of me yearns to hang pictures on walls
Pictures of memories with friends and families
Those whom call me:
daughter or sister
Decadant people with whom I crossed paths with over a decade
Sweet delightful meals shared in various rooms as the sun sets.

I would like to place knick knacks on the shelves
Each tell a story of the phases of my life
Every corner turned
Every stone I stumbled over
Every chip that knicked my heart
Leave them on display to greet me
in the mornings and tuck me away as I switch off the lights.

Maybe, maybe I can lay a welcome mat at the door
So people know that they are welcomed to stay
Maybe it will stop me from saying goodbye too soon.

My nomadic way of life
Has gotten me afraid
Uncertain of settling down
Unpersuaded about commitment
Often times I find myself packing up
before I even sat down
Looking to where I need to go next
Before I let my foot ground
Stepping out the door
before my sole gets seasoned
with the soil beneath my feet.

The fact of the matter is
I do not want to disappoint you
I do not want my laundry washed
hung out to dry for you see
My whites bleached and sunned
My colours separated and softened
Then kept like skeletons stored away in closets
Or a wardrobe hidding my unworn personalities protected by mothballs
I would rather wear the same shirts and drawstring pants
because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin
Wash and dry them daily only to find solace in that sense of consistency.

I hope some day I can unpack my suitcase
And make this my home.

Till then,
Au revoir
Zhai zhian
Jumpa lagi
Dastvidaniya.

- Swit Marie
1746H 4th December 2017
Bahagia HQ



Swit Marie is a 'Jacqueline of all trades' who loves wearing plaid
When words fail, she allows movement and emotion to carry her through
A believer in making dreams come true, she would love to collaborate with you
An explorer starting fresh and would only give her best
She stands in the gap and will only call it quits when it's a wrap.

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