The Muruku Murmurations

#NaPoWriMo2018 Day 6 Prompt by Poetry Cafe KL #NaPoWriMo #pckl #heroes Who's one of your real life heroes? Pick 3 traits to go with this person - kind eyes, big feet, a voice like rain eg. Write a note to your hero reminding them of why they are a hero to you. An ode to you, My source of love, Your endless kindness is my motivation to keep on living and fighting. Your face of youthfulness hides the worry and anxiety you never show the world You face every challenge with strength and steadfastness. Always being compassionate Sacrificing for your loved ones Even strangers feel your warmth Your patience is the pillar that upholds our family You always do what is best Instead of what is easy. You are a woman of many talents And have mastered them all Sewing every stitch for charity Cooking to feed the hungry Dancing feet that taps into every story Inspiring me to be my best. You stood by me with every step I took Went before me to lo...

Wrote this while pondering on compliance, and filial piety. And what it does to mould children as individuals and if children really have a choice. Deep stuff. I think.  "Everything that you have, you owe to your parents." That is the burden the world inflicts on every child the minute it breathes life. The minute a diaper is first changed, or milk is first suckled. The debt of a child to a parent that is every growing, with interest. Parents mould their children into the imagery of individuals of their choice. They give their daughters a voice, but tell her she is not to raise it against her husband or mother-in-law. They give their sons choices, but threaten to disown them if they bring back a non-prospective daughter-in-law. They urge their children to forge friendships, but dictate the circles in which their children run. "Don't be friends with THAT girl, she's no good for you." without even getting to know That Girl at all. "That bo...

"Today, I challenge you to write a poem that takes the form of a family portrait. You could write, for example, a stanza for each member of your family. You could also find an actual snapshot of your family and write a poem about it, spending a little bit of time on each person in the picture. You don’t need to observe any particular form or meter ." Tau Miu Sigma, That is our insignia, We may not be a sorority, But we are each other's priority. We are made of three entities, Exhibit A is the aunty of random atrocities, Secondly is our feisty Hak-ayu fire power, And lastly our resident jiwang of the hour. This one is for Sheril! The one who dares to take on any peril, She has perfected the resting b*tch face, Strong minded about issues of gender and race. We have been friends for a while, She has seen me through my many trials, Tolerant when I put on my disappearing acts, Her intentions are true and overlooks our defects. This one is for J...

"Today, I challenge you to write a poem that takes the form of a family portrait. You could write, for example, a stanza for each member of your family. You could also find an actual snapshot of your family and write a poem about it, spending a little bit of time on each person in the picture. You don’t need to observe any particular form or meter." "Do not smile so much!" My mother's voice cuts crisp across the flash, As her eyes quickly dart a warning at me. From the corner of my eye I see her, And quickly drop the dopey grin on my face. I am 11 years old and in a pretty frock, Butterfly clips in my long black hair, As I am poised on the arm of a big chair, Like a prop. I slouch over, sweltering under the 650 lights, And am immediately prodded at the side, To straighten up and "sit tall", By a singular manicured nail painted blood red. My father resides in the big chair, Already disinterested before it has even begun, In his cr...

For my last letter, I dedicate this to my maternal grandmother, my por-por . I had written something for my other late grandparents who passed on this  year. It's been about 2 years and I still miss her and the sweet memories she left for me. There are some Malay and Hokkien words in this one. In a little taman (garden) called Air Itam , Slightly quiet since it had lost it's charm, A boisterous, charismatic lady with beauty like Hang Li Po , It's been two years since we said goodbye to my por -por . She was ever so popular, Among the Pulau Tikus marketeers, Mdm Oon Swee Choo's daily routine, Making friends, chit-chatting and bargaining. She loved all her grandchildren, Our quirks and conversations kept her vibrant, Each one had a special place in her heart, She wanted to see all of us before she had to part. Sheeyen, mah zhai ai ki ban san ? (Swit Yen, do you want to go to the market tomorrow?) I would say yes and try to sleep by one, ...

Dedicated to all mothers. Mother's by blood, Godmothers, mothers by adoption, petmoms , babysitters, motherly figures, expecting mothers and the list goes on. Thank you! From the moment I was conceived, You were invested, To a life long duty of love and sacrifice. Thank you for being my mother, The one person who has been steadfast, By my side through whatever. I have caused you pain, Brought you disappointment, You didn't take it to heart. You took every apology, Gave me forgiveness, Taught me to never give up hope. Thank you for being my source of joy, Making me your priority, My pillar of strength to stay alive. - SY 19:54H 8th May 2016 Pagoh

I kept it secret from my parents that I dreamed of three black pigs slaughtered along the mountain trails I was treading. I kept it secret from my parents that I did sangbo. We butchered three chickens and did the id-idew. We checked the bile and prayed that whatever omen that comes is good. My parents knew I missed two flights. They clasped their Bible and prayed for my safety to Jesus Christ. I kept it secret from my parents that I did the things they used to do then before I travel to baba for competitions - choose a good chicken, strike its wings, legs, and head with a hard stick til’ it dies, butcher it, check its bile, then pour its blood together with tapey on the earth. I kept these things from my parents. Because since they accepted their savior Jesus Christ, they kept a lot of things too. Like the kuli underneath our lababo. The earthen jar that used to contain fermenting rice is now a secret hiding place of cockroaches. - Dumay

I have always found it difficult to talk to you, especially now, more than ever. You never understood and I can't be the person you want me to be. For that I am sorry and I wish you could forgive me. Please forgive me, As difficult as it is, As unacceptable as I am, Please, forgive me. I fall short, Countless times, Time and time again, I fall and fall again. You gave me a life, A life of essentials, Essentially, your life, I owe you a life. I am not perfect, A failed perfectionist, Flawed with mistakes, A rejected perfectionist. You have your ways, Your ways are not mine, The former will never be yours, The latter will never be mine. Please forgive me, For going my own way, For things I will never say, Please, forgive me. Sincerely, -SY 14:53H 5th April 2016 Chow Kit

This piece is to honor my sister, as we've been through thick and thin in life & she has always been amazing support. I was inspired by Andy Mineo's Hear My Heart, and felt it is due time to honor my sister, before time runs out. You were born before me, 3 years apart but you looked after me, When mum & dad were busy, Preoccupied being crazy. You were there keeping it cool, Guiding us from being fools, I remember how you thought me how to buy onions, While mum was hospitalized, tears flow by the millions. You warned me about women, But I was stubborn & joined the foolish men, I learnt the error of my ways, Even then you loved me anyways. You put shoes on my feet, Which made my bad days sweet, Even when you got married, You are busy but always got us what we need. Man... I am super blessed, To have you when my life is a mess, Grateful to have you as my sister, The one who took the role of a mother & father. I'm sorry a better brot...

You expect relatives to be around forever, and then they leave & suddenly it's like a bomb went off in your universe. No boy or man could ever hurt you this way, and months later you're still trying to pick up & move on.  I never saw it coming, I never would have guessed, But so stand the fact, That one day you just up & left. You were there my whole life, I didn’t even know it was possible, You were family & that is supposed to forever, And yet out the door you just went. At first I was shocked, I didn’t know what to do, But it wasn’t about me, It was about cleaning up after you. You thought the relationship was between two people, But how was that possible when you’re in every damn family photo, You’re in all the Carpenter songs I know the words to, And in my favourite TV show. I’d love to say I hate you, But I really don’t, I want to say “how could you”, But I already know. So I hope you’re happy, And I hope it was worth it, Beca...

I wanted to write a Chinese New Year themed poem, and I began reminiscing the simpler CNYs I used to have back in my hometown of Sitiawan, Perak where my mother is from. It really hit me while writing this piece how much I missed the CNYs of old. Red lanterns, Hung up high, At 130 Taman Hijau, All the way past July. Sparklers, With cousins who have different last names, Then fire crackers & rocket bombs, We were cautioned throwing pop pops at each other's feet was not a game. Steamed chicken, Made by Por Por & served at the round table, Grandchildren fighting for the drumstick, Risking a stern smack with a ladle. Mahjong, The "only for adults" game, Four people chong-ing away, Some getting two pieces the same. Sisters, Gathered in the familial master bedroom, Sprawled over each other gossiping, About husbands, children & prospects that loom. No more, The festive feel of this holiday. Replaced by rest...

Some things never chance and when it is too late, we are always filled with regret. For now, while there is still time left, I may not get a second chance but I can do it right from now on. Dear Mdm. Tang, The last of your generation, A pioneer of our blood line, One of the firsts to reach this nation, Along with the labourers of tin mines. How my lineage from you started, Still remains a mystery, Since your memories have now parted, It shall forever be just history. You lived decade after decade, Across the many struggles you survived, With just a door as your barricade, Away from the Japanese you stayed alive. Your mind as sharp as a laser, Tongue as spiteful as the devil, You were never a people pleaser, Your words felt like falling into an ant hill. Days of your life weren't always misery, Generally your children treated you well, Why is it only bitterness you see? Far away from grace is where you fell. Your outlook is mostly grey, E...

After a long battle of staying strong and staying alive, my grandfather's body had finally given up on him. I am thankful most of us got to see him one last time before he had left us and that he went peacefully without struggle. He gave me some fond memories and these are only just a few. In loving memory of my 'Akong'. There he was standing six feet tall, Tall and lanky stature, Rarely would he utter words, But when he did, people listened and it mattered. He would have his milky oats in the morning, Followed by a brisk walk along Gurney Drive, I would walk along side him, Watch the sunrise and mudskippers come alive. Almond milk or Milo was his breakfast drink, Along with Kuey Teow Th’ng everyday, Never would he miss the Chinese newspaper, To get updated with what the government had to say. Lunch at their regular caterer, Ah Huat’s Sundays are must have Fish Head Assam Curry, Secretly, his favourite place was actually Genting, ...

I take my maternal grandfather out on a regular basis. He is my only living grandparent left, and ever since I was born, we've been close. When I used to go back to Sitiawan, where my mother is from, my grandfather would take me for ice kacang and laksa by Lumut beach, and now that he lives here in KL, I take him out for artisan ice cream. Times have changed, but the relationship hasn't. So this one is for the baddest #BadassKongKong out there.  She held onto his hand. The other grasping onto the ice cream cone he had bought for her, and she skipped along to his footsteps. She held on tight to his hand, tighter than she did the ice cream cone. Her little 6-year old hand barely fit into his bigger one, and she looked up at him, smiled, and happily continued licking her ice cream. She barely paid attention to where she was going, because she knew that with her hand in his, she’d be safe. He held onto her hand. He grasped on it tightly. Almost like he was afraid o...

Today, I write to the two people who have done all they can to bring me up and formed my life today. I would not be here literally and figuratively without them. Dear Mummy, Just as you are, you are the light of my world thus far. Only you know me inside and out, in the times when I am silent and aloud. All your days you spend for us, giving; loving; supporting; working; you make it look so effortless. Nobody I know has shown so much endurance, on top of that patience and faithfulness. Never a dull day when it is spent with you, your point of view is enlightening and always true. Even though people may have their status quo, you will stand up for what is right and say 'no'. Chaos was never a taste you enjoyed, you will always have a plan to deploy. Heavy is the duty of a wife, mother, daughter, even more the daughter-in-law, you still do it better and complain no more. Every way you are is lovable, you are truly nothing short of incredible. Every day I am tha...

Parents sometimes have a way of imposing onto you beliefs that are not your own. Sometimes, it creates a horrifying feeling of inadequacy because you feel like a disappointment for not conforming or believing in the same principles they do. I struggled terribly with this all my life, and to a certain extent I still do. I wrote this as an attempt to let go of that feeling. Fingers crossed. You preach religion and rights and wrongs, Trying to tell me that my faith isn’t strong, Just because I’ve chopped off all my hair, Doesn’t mean I don’t believe in a higher power up there. You make faces at me when I go out in a spaghetti strap, Make me feel like I am living in a trap, You try to stifle me by telling me you don’t like my look, Because it doesn’t adhere to the guidelines listed in your holy book. You send me passive-aggressive Whatsapps in group chats, And paper my Facebook wall with the same opinions, I try my best to avoid any public spats, But I need to get out of th...

This is a throwback to 2009, when my godfather relapsed yet again into cancer. This was the beginning of his final battle, and I wasn't very sure how to react or what to do. He meant the world to me, and in many ways he still does, and there will always be a void in my life where he should be. I miss you Dee, and I love you every day.  I cannot tell you I know how the feeling, Of enduring countless rounds of needles and chemo drugs, Your long tiresome battle just to keep on living, That cannot be cured by mere words and hugs... I cannot describe your every pain, As you struggle with every breath you take, Though my affections do not wane, Seeing you this way causes my heart to ache... I can only say so many words of encouragement, That soon sound empty to my own ears, As every result reveals you are not really responding to treatment, My faith and strength dissolves to fear that the time is near... I fight within myself to stay strong, More for you than for mysel...

I wrote this after I got back from burying my late maternal grandmother. She was a loving, caring and charismatic person. Talented in so many ways and always shared her gifts with the people she loved. You are as beautiful and vibrant as this flower, So full of life and colour, So inspiring and special, Every flower is different but none as special as you are, And like a flower, You withered away but ever so gracefully. I am never good at saying goodbye, Often times I miss the chances with you, You quietly left without a sigh, I really wished there was more I could do. You will always be remembered. - SY Written at 21:30H 27th  June  2014 At 528 Chee Residence Air Itam, Penang