Showing posts from October, 2016

Tale of The Dark Cellar

Happy Halloween to all the oddballs, enthusiasts, lovelies and children of all ages. This was an assignment from months ago given by Mama Lia #evilauntylia. We had a poetry round and combined a line from each of our works to form a stanza. Then we used that stanza to write a new piece. I am not much of a story teller or fiction writer, enjoy!
It has been 54 years, 3 months 2 weeks and one day, Hiding behind curtains of lies, schemes, and treachery, Dawned by the eclipse of misdirection and bitterness, I live in the dark, damp, cellar of injustice, Who is counting? The days I have imprisoned myself here, I am just passing time like fruit flies, Waiting to finish it's life cycle and die, Reaping the rotten fruits of the seeds sewn by my bloodline.
The kind heiresses use to kill their spinster aunts, With the hope of kin in hand, Like the grasshopper that hops around, As it heard a whisper, "Is this my beginning or the end?" When the water floats, And it moans a symphony, O…


Based off of a conversation with a friend, I wrote this piece with only one thing in mind, how? How does one pick themselves up and try again? How do you feel again after not feeling anything for so long?
How do you explain,
That you do not feel pain,
And happiness is a distant memory,
Because all you feel is empty.

How do you put into words,
That everything you feared,
Was starting to come true,
Right when you thought you almost had a breakthrough.

How do you begin to understand,
The million questions that fill you mind,
When things are no longer in your hands,
And you lose all sense of time.

How do you go about living,
When you're barely existing,
Consumed by the emptiness,
And it all just becomes a mess.

- JN  2.00am, 28th October 2016 Home, Kelana Jaya

Taking Stock

how did you live you and i
how did we change someone's life
for the better
how deeply did we cut into the fleshy
stereotypes that seduce and fester
and lop them off piece by piece
what seeds of hope did we plant 
in the hearts of children whose dreams
withered before they were even birthed
what justice did we fight for
when wrong is twisted like a diseased root
to be the new black the new mutated right
or did we even fight at all when the battle
raged around us and we fell 
like scarecrows in a storm 
our convictions leaking from us
like straw

how did we live you and i
or have we lived at all

- Shuku

Let There Be No More.

The notion that there is someone out there who fits all our broken pieces perfectly is a very realistic one, but what we're never told is the fact that sometimes we meet that person and have to let them go. For whatever the reason, we consolidate, and we realize not only will we never love that way again, we will possibly never love again. And that's when we tell ourselves - No More. 
Let there be no sadness. As I sob uncontrollably, gasping for air and clutching my chest, let me remember that there will be better days ahead.
Let there be no anger. As I bite my lip and dig my fingers deep into my skin to restrain myself from giving into the pain, let me remember kindness & gentleness.
Let there be love. As I let your hand go & you take with you the remnants of my heart to do with them what you will, may you always remember that I love you with everything I have and will continue to do so from a distance. 
Let there be no more.  For you were the last, the unexpected and…

Chapter on Needs - Love

When you let yourself open up to your emotions again, chances are you can experience love again. I am thankful for recent events that has given me a reminder of the very love that I need and more importantly, the love I am wiling to give. Unconditional, unbridled and unforgettable. After writing chapters on loneliness and wanting, this string of chapter poems will be on what I need in a lasting relationship.
This is an interactive piece, insert 'LOVE' at the beginning of every sentence, this piece can also be read just as it is.
Love each other unconditionally,
Only shared between you and me,
Vicious in a cycle of out loving
Each other as long as we are living.
Every moment of every day.
Varying in many ways,
Even when we are most unlovable
Relentlessly when we are able.
Lasting through the darkest nights,
Avails through the toughest fights,
Seeing through every failure
Trying to sustain with valor.
In truth, grace and kindness
Nails through hate and wickedness
Grows stronger …


Inspired by The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks, a show that reminded me that diversity is hard to overcome but not impossible. What started out as encouragement from #thebestestfriend, turned into a collaboration!
When two worlds collide,
It is then that they must decide,
To throw their love away,
Or if it's enough to make them stay.

Like chalk and cheese,
Or apple and oranges if you please,
Differences outnumber the similarities,
But true love knows no boundaries.

Two different backgrounds,
Right down to the way they sound,
But perfect for each other,
And so the bull rider fell in love with the art major.

He fought valiantly in the name of their love,
While she immortalized them with words as soft as the winged dove,
Their love was no delicate flower,
But a sturdy tree growing slowly by the hour.

And while there were clashes in their diversity,
It strengthened them to overcome adversity,
Filling in the gaps to create a whole,
Making each other increasingly bold.

There was nothin…

A Different Upbringing

Is this the key to why you would not tarry?
 When things fell to pieces
  or went awry,
   I was taught to say    I'm sorry -    You were taught to say
- Amelia


A Taytay attempt at trying to describe the many parts of a relationship with colors.
Black.  The remnants of my heart before you, as dark as ink that slowly seeped into my soul, turning me as bitter as the coffee I drink. 
Yellow.  The small rays of light that slowly beamed through the cracks of despair, as you beamed at me from across the table, albeit shyly. 
Pink.  The colour of my cheeks that I deny every time I talk about you, unable to wipe the child-like grin on my face as I recall the things you say to me in secret and say about me in public. 
Green.  The peace I feel every time I awaken at an hour ungodly to me, yet am satiated because your face is next to mine, softly wishing me Good Morning, which is in essence the best thing about the morning. 
Orange.  My small streaks of irrational jealousy at women on the receiving end of heart emojis that I want to claim as mine, but knowing deep down that a heart is only claimed when given willingly, not demanded. 
Red.  My rage as we…

Cradle of Care

The human touch is the most vital treatment you can give to a person going through moments of mental instability. It is the only thing that feels secure and real because every other sense cannot be trusted.
Cradle me securely in your arms
Let your warm embrace make me calm.
As the cries of my heart fill the air
Touch me gently with your tender, loving care.
Soothe the trembling in my skin
Hush the tears that are building within.
Slowly wipe the moisture that leaks
Along the curves of my cheeks.
Softly whisper close to my ear,
So that your velvety voice is all I can hear.
- SY 1248H 4th October 2016 Jalan Pahang

SY is a 'Jacqueline of all trades' who loves wearing plaids.
She doesn't believe in things that fade and fulfills the promises that she made.
She seeks the hearts of the troubled, to be a listener in times when things are doubled.
She's the kind who stands in the gap, who will only call it quits when it's a wrap.

Sebuah Kafe Di Ipoh

seekor mentol berkukur sepi  menjirus ruang kafe dengan cahayanya seekor mentol berkukur sepi dalam sangkar besinya menyanyi lagu malam sambil ia mencicip bisu bulir-bulir kopi mengalir perlahan di hujung meja
- Jack

Apologize First, Think Later.

This one goes out to all the ladies who have ever been emotionally abused in a relationship.  This was me trying to capture that initial defeat one feels, and the self-loathing and slow chipping away of one's confidence. Emotional abuse is a very real form of abuse with very long lasting traumatic effects. Ladies it is important however to remember that it is very much survivable. 
Say you're sorry.  Don't assess the facts but just apologize first, so he would be mildly appeased albeit still irritated at whatever it is he has convinced you is your latest crime, on your long rap sheet of perceived stupidity.
Do not look him in the eye.  Always look down in remorse and submission, remembering always your place in this world and that you shouldn't be so audacious as to ever look him in the eye. 
Think simple thoughts.  Do not think about times when you were a spit fire, fuelled by music and movement and when you used to scream at bad drivers out your window. Think now onl…

Mental Mayday!

October 10th is World Mental Health Day. I wrote this during the #NaPoWriMo Prompt Challenge to write about a month that is cruel. I chose the month of May as it was Mental Health Awareness Month in America. This piece is an insight go what goes on in the mind of the anxious and depressed. Find out more about Mental Health Month & World Mental Health Day!
What? You have MDD? Suffering from anxiety? Give me a break... It's all in your head.

Don't you even try, Attempt to talk to me, Like a lid shut tight, you pry, Using your leverage, I see.
You try to understand, What is depression? Just so you can reprimand, This adjustable condition.
Have you been trapped before? Suffocated and breathless, My oxygen is the truth by which you swore, But my atmosphere is lies, lies and more lies.
I can't breath when everyone crowds around, Pin me to a corner into a submission, Do the count out to get up from the ground, But deep down they just want extermination.
You wish your saving grace could be medicat…

a hypothesis of the correlation between the number of times someone says your name in a conversation and how much they cares about you

I think, the more someone cares about you the more they say your name.
If you put it in a mathematical equation, they have a positive correlation.
N + I = C  (N – number of times name is said, I – initial times of name called, C – units of care)

They even say it more dearly. There’s this, depth in their voices.
D(N + I) = C  (N – number of times name is said, I – initial times of name called, C – units of care, D – depth and dearliness of voice)

But perhaps it’s just me. Perhaps I think so because I just want him to care about me.
D(N + I) = CV (N – number of times name is said, I – initial times of name called, C – units of care, D – depth and dearliness of voice, V – void in my heart that wants to be filled)

I want to be a manic dream. Everyone’s manic pixie dream girl. The one that people miss when she leaves the room. The one that everyone remembers as the smart, beautiful but crazy girl. The almost, but never girl.

But again, I suck at math. Sometimes I like to think of it all as…


Today I'd like to celebrate a fast friend, yet a really true one, and one of the best I've got right now (and so far). I can't thank him enough for his quiet & constant support for my endeavours, and for the simple ways he has been there for me when I needed him to be. Here's to you, Serigala - I will tether hotspot for you to catch Pokemon any day of the week :) 
Charming you don't mean to be but you are,  Surpassing all the pretty boys by far,  What you are is a solid & truly nice man,  Of your music & dance moves I am a big fan.
The sway of your hips with your legs between mine, There is a cool vibe about you but your eyes are kind,  There is no lying you give me 3am thoughts, Although I know realistically it is all for nought.
I have to admit I do enjoy your gaze,  And the sensation when my body you accidentally graze,  But this shameless flirting is harmless at best,  Which is why at the end of every Wednesday I can lay my temptations to rest.

Paint with Love

This piece is inspired by the lyrics of 'Paint' from 'The Surrogate Friend' album by Francis Wolf. Happy Birthday to you, Wolf! Thank you for your words of kindness, encouragement and love. This piece is dedicated to you.
Colours of you make my day,
You take away the gloom of the grey,
Paint roses on my cheeks,
Every time you start to speak.
Paint my life with rainbows,
Make my days colourful,
Shimmer in the browns of my eyes
Every time you be my surprise.
With all the things you randomly said,
Paint my laughs in fiery red,
Your comedy is as good as gold,
Every punchline never gets old.
I will always be there for you
As the sea and skies are blue,
You are the yellow in the sunshine rays,
Paint my life with your love every day.
- SY 19:49H 4th October 2016 Bayu Timor

ANNOUNCEMENT: Same Bag, Different Murukus

It has been a truly fruitful years for the Muruku Murmurations, from performing as trios to publishing our own zine and having our own show. However all good things must come to an end, and it is important to quit while one is ahead. The murmurators of the Muruku Murmurations are in very different places individually and creatively, hence it is best we take a step back from collaborations with each other and push forward to forge our own path. I hope you still enjoy our Murmurations to come, and continue supporting us individually despite this separation. 
- SB
I can liken our journey in poetry to a story or book. In a story arc, there is the beginning and an inciting incident which led to the conception of 'The Muruku Murmurations'. The tension builds as the characters go through different conflicts and crisis. Once the climax has passed, there is a resolution. Then the next chapter/episode/volume begins in the saga. The characters evolve and expand through their own developm…