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Showing posts from July, 2015

For you, Thatha

My mum and I were talking about my grandfather and so I got inspired to write about him. Its been five years since he passed away, but I remember everything like it was yesterday. 

Disclaimer: Thatha is grandfather in Tamil and Amachi is grandmother in Tamil. 


You would cycle to the shop, 
Just to buy your grandchildren chocolates and lollipops, 
I hear your voice like it was yesterday, 
"Don't tell you amma ah", you would say.

"See la your Amachi, never let me watch tv" 
You'd complain as she changed the channel from WWE to her series,
You would joke about your wife, 
But oh, the way she made you smile.

You'd hold my hand when I sat next to you,
That made me feel special to you,
Sometimes we'd play games,
Sometimes I'd trace your hand and map out the veins.

For years you lived with the pain,
But I never once heard you complain,
You fought till the end,
To me you're a champ.

I never got to say goodbye, 
I try to get by,
I wish I could get one last hug, 
Or …

I'm Not Ready

This is a throwback to 2009, when my godfather relapsed yet again into cancer. This was the beginning of his final battle, and I wasn't very sure how to react or what to do. He meant the world to me, and in many ways he still does, and there will always be a void in my life where he should be. I miss you Dee, and I love you every day. 
I cannot tell you I know how the feeling,
Of enduring countless rounds of needles and chemo drugs,
Your long tiresome battle just to keep on living,
That cannot be cured by mere words and hugs...

I cannot describe your every pain,
As you struggle with every breath you take,
Though my affections do not wane,
Seeing you this way causes my heart to ache...

I can only say so many words of encouragement,
That soon sound empty to my own ears,
As every result reveals you are not really responding to treatment,
My faith and strength dissolves to fear that the time is near...

I fight within myself to stay strong,
More for you than for myself,
But my convicti…

I'm Not Good At Saying Goodbye

I write this because I'm not good with goodbyes and speaking out what's on my mind. I run away from myself and what's going on around me.

I'm so proud of all of you who graduated and left to fulfill your callings in life, all that you've done in the years that you were given. I am so blessed to have know you and be a part of your life. Congratulations to you and all the very best for your future. Fulfill your destiny, your calling in life, never regret and always let the joy of the Lord be your strength. New beginnings are ahead and I know that you are fully able to face it and succeed. Be of good courage and seek His kingdom, His presence, His face always. God is the same yesterday, today and forever, He is forever faithful and He'll always love you. I appreciate all the times you were there for me, all the things we've done together, gone through side-by-side, all the things you taught me, the times prayed for me and the support. You do have an impact in m…

How It Began

For years we have ventured our separate ways on separate platforms and sites to put our thoughts from our cluttered minds on to 'paper'. Thisistheplacewherewe collaborate tospeak/share/serenadethethingsthatstirusupfromtheinside.
Over the years, The Muruku Sisterhood had not only built a strong friendship but experienced a lot together. After going for a poetry reading, the inspiration awakened from inside my soul and triggered me to explore this project of self-expression. Not only am I thankful for good company and the undying support I get from them but I am honoured to be working on this with them.
- SY
The Muruku Sisterhood has come a long way from jotting down poems/stories/thoughts on random pieces of paper, so we decided that its time we published our musings on the internet. I'm not the most vocal person but sometimes people write the things they can't say, so I guess this is me opening up, and I'm glad I get to share it with two amazing, talented and creativ…

The Muruku Sisterhood

A sort of thank you to the two who push me to be the best I can be. 

The Muruku Sisterhood,  From teenage years to adulthood,  One is fierce, one is feisty, And then there's me. 
Through ups and downs,  Boys and ball gowns,  Laughter and tears,  And conquering fears. 
This bond cannot be broken,  Nor can it be shaken,  I may not have many friends,  But these two are till the end. 
So here's to the girls,  They're known as Swit Yen and Sheril,  They love me for who I am,  And push me to be the best I can.  
- JN Written at 11.53am, 20/7/2015 Home, Kelana Jaya

I'm Letting Go

I guess this one is pretty self explanatory. Sometimes people write the things they can't say.

She said I wasn't right,
I thought we were worth the fight,
She said I wasn't right,
So you just gave up the fight.

What happened to happily ever after?
What about the things you said after?
You said you'd go through whatever weather,
I remember you said always and forever.

Its been a year,
your words still resonate in my ear,
I wish you never said all those things,
cause you didn't mean a thing.

You were the first,
You said you'd never give up on us,
Even after all you put me through,
I still miss you.

We could have been something amazing,
But now we'll never know,
I guess that's what makes it sting,
Not anymore, I'm letting go.

- JN
Written at 7.00pm, 20th July 2015 Home, Kelana Jaya

Faith

When things got too hard, have you ever had that moment where you lost faith and wanted to give up? This is for when you have those moments. Take a breathe, read this and get back up on that saddle. 

Hold on, things are going to get easier, Just take a little breather, Timid one you are, But trust me you’ll go far.
Let your faith see you through, All you think you can’t do, No matter what, the sun is always shining, So look for that silver lining.
Though it may not seem that way now,  But it will get better somehow, Most days it feels like you’re fighting a losing battle, But promise me you’ll always get back up on that saddle.

- JN Written at 11.40pm 17th July 2015 Home, Kelana Jaya

Withdrawn, But Fine

This is the last thing I wrote before I entered that creative block hiatus. It is about shutting down, about taking the higher road, about not picking a fight. It's about bottling yourself up in the hopes of good days to come that will make it worth it. It's about losing yourself, to some extent. Mostly, it's about being alright. Not fantastic, not great, but fine. 
She feels him pushing her. She bites her tongue and holds her breath. She calculates what would happen if she lets it all out. She knows they would argue, he wouldn’t see her point. He’d shut her off and tell her she was ridiculous and insecure. She’d feel he was right. She’d cry. Things wouldn’t end well.
She says nothing, smiles into the phone, hoping he’d hear it. She says she is fine. She says nothing more. 
She hangs up, and wishes there was someone else she could call. There is no one. There used to be voices on the other end of the line. Now there are none.
She turns on her playlist, the one she keeps fo…

Ode To Fallen Sisterhoods

Growing up, I always had girl friends around me. Not many, usually we were a threesome, but at all points of my life, I was always part of a sisterhood. Some of these girls I don't speak to anymore, we grew up and drifted apart, or there was a disagreement and we chose to go separate ways, but there is no denying the effect these girls and these women have had on me. This is for them, the fallen sisters of fallen sisterhoods.
This is to the girls,
Who played Pepsi-Cola with me during recess,
The ones who fought with me about colour pencils,
And let me pick Mulan when we played pretend Disney princess.

This is to the girls,
Who walked behind me when I had my first period stain,
The same girls who taught me how to shave my legs,
And how to put on lipstick when I was feeling vain.

This is to the girls,
Who held my hand when that first boy broke my heart,
The ones who cursed that boy to oblivion,
And held onto me when I thought I would fall apart.

All these sisterhoods, all the girls …

If My Walls Could Talk

The poetry reading that kicked off this idea in SY's head was called If Walls Could Talk. At this reading, they encouraged the audience to write a poem called themed "If Walls Could Talk" and post it on their Facebook page. This kickstarted my writing gears again, and this is the first piece I have written in two years. I basically thought about the things I do in my room, what my walls have witnessed, the good and the bad - and then I penned it down. 
If my walls could talk,
They would definitely squeal and giggle,
Like my inappropriate soul sisters on girl's night,
After 2am muruku, The Lion King and pseudo packing for my 10am flight.

My walls would retell tales of arguments I attempted to keep behind closed doors,
These arguments during which I turned into a lioness, the kind that roars.
Arguments with partners who felt I was always too much,
Arguments that made my blood hot, but turned my heart cold to love's touch.

These white barricades would also be able t…

How About NO.

Ever wondered about those times you thought about all the things you could have done, could have changed, could have said? Many times it is just not worth it especially when it is related to a person who never respected/appreciated you. People who make use of us and disregard us for being anything less than who we are and what we are worth don't deserve to be a part of our lives. So it's time to say... "How about NO!"

Disclaimer: There willalwaysbehatersandwewillletthehatersbehaters. Asforme, I'll keep moving on and loving life. Thisisbasedonrealincidencesbutitismeanttobeingeneral. Anysimilaritiesarepurelycoincidental.

No point.
Point is Does it really matter?
Would it be this or the latter?
I doubt it would get better
all you want are things on a silver platter.
No reason.
Do you think its just a season?
Or are you teaching me a lesson?
All you are is talk and treason,
Continuous betrayal and arson.
No need.
Need I explain myself more?
Really, are you seriously k…

Remembrance

Image
I wrote this after I got back from burying my late maternal grandmother. She was a loving, caring and charismatic person. Talented in so many ways and always shared her gifts with the people she loved.
You are as beautiful and vibrant as this flower,
So full of life and colour,
So inspiring and special,
Every flower is different but none as special as you are,
And like a flower,
You withered away but ever so gracefully.
I am never good at saying goodbye,
Often times I miss the chances with you,
You quietly left without a sigh,
I really wished there was more I could do. You will always be remembered.

- SY Written at 21:30H 27th June 2014 At 528 Chee Residence Air Itam, Penang

Hello Little Girl

IwokeupthinkingabouthowlifeisandalltheidealsIhadasachild. AllthemisconceptionsanddisappointmentIcameacrossaslife 'gotreal'. Here'stoalltheyoungone, thelittleonesandtheones about to discoverlife.
Disclaimer: Ididn'twritethiswithanyoneinmind. Ihopeitdoesn'toffendanypeoplegroups. Thereisnothingwrongwithhaving 'real' jobs, thepointisthekindofpeoplewebecomeoncewegrowup.
Hello little girl,
Welcome to the real world,
Where not all is as white as pearl,
Let more tell you more little girl.
Look out these windows,
Do you see green meadows?
All I see are concrete shadows,
And people in search of El Dorados.
Not everything is as it seems,
Not everyone is chasing their dreams,
Most have lost their self esteems,
With stress just bursting at the seams.
Conversations laid out on the mat,
People Lost in their idle chit chat,
Oh look is another one having a spat,
About who fault it was for this and that.
So many have lost their smiles,
Their heads submerged in piles of files,