Withdrawn, But Fine

This is the last thing I wrote before I entered that creative block hiatus. It is about shutting down, about taking the higher road, about not picking a fight. It's about bottling yourself up in the hopes of good days to come that will make it worth it. It's about losing yourself, to some extent. Mostly, it's about being alright. Not fantastic, not great, but fine. 

She feels him pushing her. She bites her tongue and holds her breath. She calculates what would happen if she lets it all out. She knows they would argue, he wouldn’t see her point. He’d shut her off and tell her she was ridiculous and insecure. She’d feel he was right. She’d cry. Things wouldn’t end well.

She says nothing, smiles into the phone, hoping he’d hear it. She says she is fine. She says nothing more. 

She hangs up, and wishes there was someone else she could call. There is no one. There used to be voices on the other end of the line. Now there are none.

She turns on her playlist, the one she keeps for times like this, curls up in a ball, and cries.

Eventually, she falls asleep and wakes up.

She says nothing. She’s fine. 

Withdrawn,

But fine. 

- SB

Written at 2.55am, 6th December 2013

Ghetto HQ

SB is a conflicted soul of sorts, who is mad enough to go chase after what she really loves as opposed to conform to society and her mother's idea of a successful person. She prays she makes it in life, because she will not be able to tolerate the nagging that would follow if she doesn't. Her inspiration comes from everything around her, as well as made up situations in her head. Good luck distinguishing between the two.