The Muruku Murmurations

I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I met during my trip to Australia. It was a fulfilling partnership and the longing was true and deep. There was a sense of emptiness alongside how fulfilling the relationship was. I was very comfortable with being single, not wanting long-term relationships but we both made the exception. At this point after a year, things have been more strained and with the pandemic, it was uncertain of when we would be able to see each other but I was never uncertain with where I stood and hoped for. Wishful thinking has always landed me in displeased situations, I am an optimistic realist but that was not enough. The last time I truly felt like this was when I was in a long-distance relationship back in Russia. History does repeat itself if we do not learn from them and change. I just hope that I don't fall back to the same extremes and finally find some sense of balance in this new decade. As I fall asleep, I clasp my hands with each other, ju...

I wrote this piece for Julian, he was a comet that I didn't want to part with. We had a good run together and made our way to being the moon where we met every quarter but we wanted to be the sun that greets us every day. This was the moment. I realised I didn't want this to be fleeting as a comet passing. Not one where the orbit would be an alignment of chance that would only happen once in a lifetime. I wanted this to be a constant like the sunrise, the first light I see embracing the horizon. A seamlessly effortless constant that gives us a chance of recurring happiness. - Swit Marie 0911H 4th August 2019 Byron Bay

I wrote this after I found out my ex got married to the girl he was with when he cheated. She contacted me multiple times and I did not want to have anything to do with them. I dodge a bullet and she is his now. This is me letting go of everything that had happened from the start till the end. I was tied up with you My heart wrapped tightly like a ball of yarn Overwhelmed Suffocated Blinded to see that I was your prisoner. You strung me along let your ends loose Then left me behind Stale and lifeless. I was frayed; devastated, I spent twice as long Trying to weave together what was broken Back tracking to where my strings started Not knowing how to the get the ball rolling So afraid of getting twisted. I watched you play on another's heart strings Letting her tug at you Like flying a kite I had knots in my stomach. When you tied the knot My heart struck a cord I am not hung up on you Not any more My life isn't a tightrope like b...

One of those days where I remembered what love felt like and when I was lucky enough to hold it in my hands. Unconditional and unique to that one moment shared by two people. Love is knowing when your heart falls catched by cupped palms when you heart sits comfortably in fingers that will not harm Love is knowing. - Swit Marie 0606H 19th May 2018 Taman Bahagia

#NAPoWriMo2018  #Day18   Poetry Cafe KL #NaPoWriMo #abstract #art Choose your favourite painting or sculpture. Write a poem in response to it. This piece speaks to me every time I look at it. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder Who held you near whispers in your ear Telling you had nothing to fear. His arms were your comfort With little effort He opened your heart You gave no retort. He created this safe space Within these walls was your place He showed you his face You showed him your grace. In the lights and glitter Your heart began to flutter Your gaze became more blur There was no way to recover. Your judgement blinded by a veil You could not see the betrayal You trusted without fail His dance with you was going stale. He left without any goodbyes Your ears were hearing lies Full of deceitful replies Leaving you alone to cry. Fragile like porcelain Hurt by his restraints Left pale, weak and in pain Broken in the ra...

We both weren't bad people, not necessarily bad for each other but definitely not the best thing at this point of time. Young is your heart Naive is my soul Cracking is your life Bit by bit With each day that passes Right from the time we said "Let's give this a chance." What was left is the Image of who we thought we were Tinted with disappointment. - Swit Marie 1718H 27th May 2017 Vainglory Championship

Valentine's Day had just passed and social media was flooded with all kinds of events, promos, pictures and appreciations . To me, every day should be celebrated between you and your partner or the people to share your life with . What is Valentine's to you? May it be more than just the material things. This is dedicated to those who can't or don't celebrate Valentine's. No. It's not about the flowers; Expensive gifts; fancy dinners, Or dates on tinder. It's about the life you live with one another, The sacrifices you made together, The future you wish To build for each other. It is holding her hand Picking him up Helping him stand Watching her smile Just for a while. It is everyday you give Every time you live Willing to be your best Even when you are a mess And finding rest At peace knowing... This is home. This is you and I. This is what it is. -Swit Marie 02:42H 16th February 2017 Bangsar HQ ...

On the 31st of December, the last day of 2016, my dearest friend, Paula joined in union with her beloved, now husband. Their journey together is a very real and rich one, something that should be celebrated and highlighted. I was asked to write a poem regarding marriage, when I look at them, they are as different as night and day but both just as important and complements each other in its own way. I wrote it in mind to go hand in hand with their 'Lord of The Rings.' themed wedding as well. Dawn. The first break of daylight Chasing the land from the horizon Light invading every space imaginable Leaving no area untouched by hope and joy. That is the first rush of infatuation. Magnificent, encompassing and overpowering When emotions are riled up and adrenaline courses through every artery and vein To stir you up to do things you never thought you would in this lifetime. Dusk. When the sun sets That ball of fire is now cascading down to disappear Slowly...

Faithfulness is maintaining the trust that we have built and keeping it strong no matter what gets in the way. It is what keeps the momentum going and the depth of the relationship growing. L oyalty is to put you as my priority O ne and only one to fulfill me Y ou and I will build a life that is solid A way from you I will not stray L ive by your side even when you are invalid T rust in you whole-heartedly, Y ou will be my net of security. - SY 02:44H 23rd October 2016 Jalan Pahang SY is a 'Jacqueline of all trades' who loves wearing plaids. She doesn't believe in things that fade and fulfills the promises that she made. She seeks the hearts of the troubled, to be a listener in times when things are doubled. She's the kind who stands in the gap, who will only call it quits when it's a wrap.

Some people think flirting over text is an art. Some think it's a game of strategy. For me it's a default disinterest. And this is why.  I will smile when your name flashes with a text, And send you those colon p emojis to seem cute, And ask you how your day is, And shrug indifferently when you forget to reply, Because I know this is as good as it gets, And that there isn't a person in this world who can love all that I am. - SB 10.34pm, 11th April 2016 Ghetto HQ

Another Mysteries of Laura inspired poem. Was trying to channel Laura's inner voice in this one, because pretending to be in someone's head can be quite fun. Especially when it is a fictional character.  The effect you have on me, Is not something I can go see the doctor for. It's a tragic euphoric feeling, As you stride in & out like my life is a revolving door. I would not say you were my favourite drug, Because this is not an addiction. You can go to rehab for that, This is more like an affliction. My heart aches for you whenever you're gone, And out of nowhere I can suddenly weep, Memories of your smile leave me forlorn, And I wish once again that you were nearer to me. There is no substitute for that charming face, And these feelings I don't have for anyone else, For months you disappear without a trace, And yet in just a few hours you sweep me off my feet. I sing endless hours of songs that remind me of you, And I belt them out loud ...

Inspired by the quirky relationship of Jake Broderick & Laura Diamond, of the TV show The Mysteries of Laura. Some people come in and out of your life so often it feels like you're a revolving door, and you wish for them to be a constant, even though you know it isn't really possible.  I wait in anticipation for you, Every time. The uncertainty of never knowing when I will see you next, I don't mind. I think I'm okay, I go out & do things & meet people, Then comes the fateful day, You show up at my doorstep with a fresh shave. I love that you do it, That little thing just for me, People wouldn't know, These things about you only I see. As I sit across from you we talk & you laugh, And I'm once again overwhelmed by that bursting feeling, Suddenly breathing is an act so tough, But I keep it together as we talk about our children & the weather. It is a whirlwind, a free fall, all at once, I try to reel it in but it is way...

This was written from an ex's perspective. So guys, if you feel like you want to shoot him down, please do. And ladies, if you just let this kind of thing slide, shoot and move on with your life. I made you believe this will last forever, I will never make you feel inferior, I will be with you through every endeavour, But heck with that, I'll disappear. I questioned your commitment, I questioned your judgement, Why do you have resentment. You know what I say?  You are a disappointment. I said I would be by your side, I will be there for you to confide, There will never be a divide, You are too much for me, I'll go away and hide. I took your hand and held you, I told you my affections are entirely true, I gave you no reason to deny me, 3 years, 2 months and a day later, please leave me be. I broke down your wall, I picked you up from your great fall, I somehow managed to undo all that, And for that I will be a walking target. - ...

In all honesty, we both had parted ways long before it was the end. I know you will never understand but I write not with ill intent but as an expression of my heart's content. You would think that it was set for life, Yet there was so much disturbing strife, There is no one to blame but you and me, I should have stayed away and you let me be. You were hopeful and a little too certain, I was numb and probably forgot to mention, Misunderstandings took place even before we started, I reluctantly went for it despite my soul having been disected. Being shallow and hollow, still somewhat alive, Mind unrestfully busy like a beehive, Ignorance was the card I carried to get by, I had nothing to lose and gave it a try. Unconvinced that anything could last forever, Jaded and still far to say I could recover, I wanted it to make it this time around, But it was not meant to be in view of all that went down. It was clear we were both in distaste, Kept holding o...

There's a saying that you should never date a poet. This is probably why. Dedicated to all the poets out there who have ever been made to feel like their words are insignificant. They are not.  You think a poet's words are just words, Things we pen down in a heat of passion or fury, They fly off the page like a strong winged bird,  Judging you like a literary jury. You don't see that these words are written in blood, In tears we squeeze out from our heartache, You don't realize with every word we flood, A little piece of us it takes. We're melodramatic and wounded says you, Loudly brooding when there are better things to do, But do you feel that anguish in every syllable, Or of such feeling are you incapable? You'll move on long after breaking our hearts, And whisper sweet nothings into another foolish ear, But months later after we have part, The testament to our heartbreak will still be here. So go ahead, crush us ...

For a long time, I wondered: Am I settling? Is this all? A friend once said," If you are still looking, you know you have not found the one." I don't feel the urge to settle down yet lest  with a person I can't see myself wake up next to every morning . It is time that I settle this. Is it right that I have to settle? For just what this is and that is all, That every day and week is a constant battle, To not be aggravated by your words or calls. I may be a strong young woman, Just because of that, Because I put up a front of 'yes I can' You do not show the need to protect. You do not go before me in unfamiliar territory, Neither do you keep up with my fast pace, You do not bother about my past and present history, Nor do you see that missed opportunities are a waste. To be away from the chaos that surrounds, I built up walls to find peace and solitude, It is my safe place and calming grounds, Also my block to contain my anger d...

There's that incredibly cliche saying that goes "it is easy to fall in love but it is hard to stay in love", or something like that. I find that to be incredibly true. Once the initial spark and high wears off and difficult circumstances kick in, the true test of Forever takes play, and not everyone passes with flying colours. But sometimes, just sometimes, your partner will give you a reason to hold on and get through every day, and make it so easy.  It is the middle of the week and we’re both swamped with work, One of those weeks where any form of sleep is considered a perk, I arrive home at one am after the day has milked me like a cow, And there you are with a sleepy smile on your face and beef kuey teow. It is 6pm and I haven’t heard from you all day, I’m more or less sure I’ve completely slipped your mind, Then you call me despite having nothing much to say, Except for a few words of encouragement that I return in kind. It is Monday and tonig...

Sometimes in relationships, you hit this weird in-between. This threshold between holding on and letting go. Nothing is particularly wrong, yet everything feels horrifying and fragile, like it's going to fall apart. You go through the motions, yet it feels inherently wrong. Sometimes, you never know when the Goodbye you say, is the last.  Today I said goodbye to you. It was like any other goodbye we have ever said, Where you look me in the eye, and you softly graze my cheek, Before you very lightly kiss me on the forehead, And hold me tight. Usually I say goodbye to you with a certain amount of certainty, I know when I will see you next, and I know what you would be like. I know you would grin that boyish grin the moment you lay eyes on me, And envelope me in your arms and inhale the scent of my hair. You’ll stroke my head gently as you ask me how my day was, And look just above the tip of my head, at what – I’ll never know, You’ll then plant a kiss on ...

Love isn't something to be declared, sometimes it is quiet satisfaction.  She laid idly in bed, and closed her eyes. She heard John croon in the background. “Gravity is working against me”  Damn right John. That’s how she felt about him. Like she fell at an uncontrollable pace, and the impact was hard. She heard him tapping on his touchpad. She heard the swift tap on the keyboard, harder than the touchpad tap. You had to listen hard for the touchpad tap, because he was gentle on it, like he was gentle with her. She heard him sing along with John. It wasn’t so much singing as muttering in tune. It was a different song now. “You love, who you love, who you love.”   It is Katy’s verse now in the song, and Katy sings that her boy ain’t the one that she saw coming. True that, Katy. She definitely did not see this one coming. She flipped on her belly. She took in the sight of the back of his head, and of him working profusely on his laptop. She glanced at th...

Sometimes when a relationship ends, at the end of that relationship, you can't really see what first brought the two of you together, or why you stayed so long. There is often a lot of animosity that builds from this, and you begin to despise the person you once gave your whole self to. But, this is a choice. You can choose to let the hurt of the break up consume you & alter your judgment of this person, or you can choose to accept that despite how great that person might have been, they just weren't the right fit for you, and take away from that relationship all the good things, because more often than not, despite everything - there was good in the relationship, even if the relationship ended up not being good for you. I won't think about the times you made me cry, And all the arguments that nearly led to goodbye. Instead I will remember your tear stained t-shirt as I sobbed into your chest, In my weakest moments and I wasn't at my best. I choose to forge...