Enough As Me

Parents sometimes have a way of imposing onto you beliefs that are not your own. Sometimes, it creates a horrifying feeling of inadequacy because you feel like a disappointment for not conforming or believing in the same principles they do. I struggled terribly with this all my life, and to a certain extent I still do. I wrote this as an attempt to let go of that feeling. Fingers crossed.

You preach religion and rights and wrongs,
Trying to tell me that my faith isn’t strong,
Just because I’ve chopped off all my hair,
Doesn’t mean I don’t believe in a higher power up there.

You make faces at me when I go out in a spaghetti strap,
Make me feel like I am living in a trap,
You try to stifle me by telling me you don’t like my look,
Because it doesn’t adhere to the guidelines listed in your holy book.

You send me passive-aggressive Whatsapps in group chats,
And paper my Facebook wall with the same opinions,
I try my best to avoid any public spats,
But I need to get out of this conservative dominion.

You say you’re teaching me and that you do this out of love,
But with the others you clandestinely let it slide,
Your other children you are constantly in awe of,
But with me you are snide with the intention to guide.

Your biggest problem with me is that I refuse to pretend,
And I relish in my identity – crass, crude and unfiltered,
You hate the fact this identity I will always defend,
And that I don’t care that people are bewildered.

I love you deeply but it doesn’t matter,
Not good enough for you is all I will ever be,
But I will no longer let these feelings fester,
Eye to eye we will never see.

You have been aged into your philosophy,
But I will not buy into it just for your approval,
I am but cheap currency in your family economy,
You have five other children at your disposal.

I’d like to think comparatively I’ve done more than I should,
Despite how you disapprove of things I say and do,
By your side through many things I have stood,
Whenever you needed me I pulled through.

With these verses I am now letting go,
Of my constant feeling of inadequacy,
In the end whether I end up Upstairs or Down Below,
I would have lived by being unapologetically me.

- SB
2.18am, 7th August 2015
Ghetto HQ 



SB is a conflicted soul of sorts, who is mad enough to go chase after what she really loves as opposed to conform to society and her mother's idea of a successful person. She prays she makes it in life, because she will not be able to tolerate the nagging that would follow if she doesn't. Her inspiration comes from everything around her, as well as made up situations in her head. Good luck distinguishing between the two. 


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