Pick X

I wrote this piece during one of my LRT journeys. I try my best to clear my mind during these long rides and find some quiet, some times I write when I feel like a train of thought forms and lines keep running. This piece was performed at Oral Fixation in July.

Let's take a peek into history...

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
I would yell with the tip top of my eagerness
I was too small for the teachers to notice
Small enough for the other kids to pick on
They picked me apart.

You see
I wasn't a cookie cut cutie
I wasn't anyone's first pick
I didnt check all the boxes
growing up.

Growing up
I didn't have boxes to tick
No list of ambitions or expectations
I braved my face
Every time my words did not leave a trace
Your absences of words
cut deep, deep in my heart.

I grew up being picky
Picky about my friend
Picky about my attire
Picky about my desires
Picky about which pieces to pick up
It seemed easier to pick at the negatives
Than to focus on the positives.

I would say,
"Pick your words wisely"
I knew how much they meant
And how they meaned much
A mind boggling pickle
It wasn't just pick up lines
Or
Puns for fun
It was 'pick me up' lines.

I was picky about pictures
Being picture perfect was not me
It was hard to find pictures that picked me
Not pick at me.

Papa picked on my frown
constantly
Papa wasn't there to pick me up
Not when I was up
Not when I was down.

I picked it up from him
How to be unemotional and practical.

When I was younger,
When I was eager
At the peak of my progress
I tend to regress
Putting out fires that should not even
start in the first place.

I take a peek and all breaks loose.
I lacked the wisdom to wait
I lacked patience and wit
I looked like I had a bone to pick
With every one
and every thing.

Perfection
was the box
I wanted to tick
I got burned
I burned out
Repeatedly.

Moving forward,
I stop picking on myself
So that I can pick myself up
So that now,
I am
my own
first pick.

- Swit Marie
0830H 25th March 2018
Putra Heights



Swit Marie is a 'Jacqueline of all trades' who loves wearing plaid
When words fail, she allows movement and emotion to carry her through
A believer in making dreams come true, she would love to collaborate with you
An explorer starting fresh and would only give her best
She stands in the gap and will only call it quits when it's a wrap.

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