The Muruku Murmurations

Sometimes so many relationships crash and burn, you start to wonder if you're the problem. Perhaps you are, and perhaps the very essence of you is the problem. If that's the case, you should probably put up warning signs & keep men away from you, or else girl - you're going to get hurt.  Please don't date me. Don't smile at me & make witty conversation, then ask me for my number and talk to me every night till 4 in the morning about absolutely nothing. Please don't have cute arguments with me in these conversations about things that will make me believe there's a connection. Please don't ask me out to dinner, or for coffee, or for some quirky first date that will be that cute story we tell people later on. Don't smile at me over a cup of tea & don't offer to get me tissues when I spill something. Don't be considerate to my needs and whimsical wants and try to fulfill them then act like it was nothing. Don't hold my han...

This is what I would say to the girl staring back at me in the mirror who feels like she's lost her way.  I stare at you in the mirror, You look familiar, What happened to that grin? Why is it wearing thin? Don't let life wear you down, Turn that frown upside down, You need to stop being afraid, And just have faith, Come out of your shell, Stop hiding in your own version of hell, You are made for so much better, So stop being afraid and go get em' tiger. Stop taking all the hurtful things people say to heart, It says a lot about them, not you sweetheart, Pay no heed to what people say, Don't let it affect you in any way, People can be cruel and mean, Let that not be a reason for you to be mean. You're small, that you are, But the good news is you're travel size, There is nothing wrong with who you are, What matters is who you are on the inside, Forget about all the names you've been called, Always remember to be a good person, you...

It has been a really difficult two weeks, and I'm beyond exhausted in every way. This letter has been particularly good for me, because nobody can remind me of my self-worth as much as myself.  Hey girl, yes you, the one with the puffy eyes, The one who is tired of the false promises that lead to goodbyes, Are those pieces of your heart that you hold in your hand? Oh no, they are remnants of things that haven’t worked out quite as planned. Stupid girl, don’t you think you should have known better by now, To trust boys with lilting voices that croon songs by Jay Chou, They are all just flimsy words girl, not resolutions to work towards together, The minute things take a turn for the difficult they’ll be gone like fair weather. You look tired girl, why are you still pushing through? You shouldn’t care what people have to say about you. So what if you have to explain that once upon a time you were incredibly happy, And now you’re just crushed, heartbroken, cynical and j...

This one is called 'Mirror, Mirror. What people see and the what I see when I look at myself in the mirror may be completely different. This is what I see and say when my eyes are staring back at me. Hello there... I've seen you before, You're looking a little fair, A little different from before. Tired eyes and weary smiles, The last you had a good sleep, The type you are in slumber so deep, I think it's been a while. Your sclera so moist with tears, Your retina hiding all your fears, Multiple thoughts layered your forehead, Stapled with what people had said. A strand of hair misplaced, Baby hairs standing all over the place, Scars and pigmentations, Many signs of imperfections. If you peeled of that layer of dead skin, I wonder what you would find, There should still be some life in there, Because I know deep down you still care. Scrub away the impurities, Wash your face with ice-cold water, Get refreshed with some...

Of recent adventures and endeavours I realised how much I liked to swing . This is how I wing it at swing. Hope this is as much fun reading as it was writing. When I was young, as memory recalls, My mum would take us out to play, We sometimes 'hang gai-gai' at nearby malls, Or go to McDonald's to eat during the day. On the weekdays when we would get the chance, To get some fresh air at the playground, Every kid would have one thing in their glance, We would race for the swings or run around. As I grew older I had a few favourite animations, One was from Jane Goodall's favourite book that became many adaptations, Tarzan swinging from vine to vine was all it took, For us nature lovers to love apes and get hooked. And then came along the 'All American Rejects' Swing, swing, swing from the tangles of my heart, Listening to that song had relieving effects, Cause any rejected crush made me fall apart. I remember there were days that w...

I just came back from If Walls Could Talk and I was thinking about how this week was a good week.  So this week was a good week, You could even say it was on point, so to speak, We did things we've never done, And I'm pretty sure we all had fun. On Monday a bunch of us went out and had ice cream, We ended up playing a long game of Uno, We only stopped playing because the shop was closing Thankfully no friendships were lost, at least I think so. Tuesday the girls and I went swing dancing, The people I danced with were very encouraging It was fun doing the back rock and 3 step, I'm amazed I could keep track. Wednesday we went to dance the blues, We were taught some pretty interesting moves, I danced with Elijah Wood and it was so smooth, Then I danced with you, oh the way you move. Thursday we went to If Walls Could Talk, Needless to say that rocked, But all I could think about were your hips, I really need to get a grip. Later today, I will be flyi...

Thanks to some recent encouragement which got us very excited, we took up the challenge to write more collaborative pieces. We thought we would just write a couple of line and that was it, who knew it would end up like this. This collaborative piece was the by-product of poetry binging and excessive rhyming. Here's the deal about what went down last night, Seriously, I tell you, it was pretty tight, The feels were there and everything went right, The mood was cool and our hearts were light. We converged at our usual HQ, To try and do something somewhat new, To get more collaborative stuff in queue, And to work on projects that were due. Last night was a refreshing treat, With David Cook presuming our tentative meet, It made us girls skip multiple heartbeats, He got the poetry factory to generate so much heat. The internet gave up on working, The Muruku Sisterhood kept on talking, We had to cool down with cooling desserts, And then became more productiv...

We all have those "almost" people. Those people who aren't really friends, aren't really romantic interests, but are there and grasp our attention despite the fact that we know they don't deserve it. We allow ourselves to be available at their every whim. Well, this poem is to remind you, that you deserve more than just fleeting people in your life.  I deserve better than a 2am text message asking if I am awake. Asking me what is going on & what is the latest update. I deserve more than a "Yo" as salutation, And when I receive such a text, I deserve to be in a state of agitation. I have a right to care very little for men who blow in and out of my life like the wind, I shouldn't have a reaction every time the wind blows them back my way, The flame was never put out - just dimmed, But that shouldn't give them the power to affect my day. I don't need to open up every time someone reaches out, After weeks of unresolved silence,...

While there are a very select few that I would consider to be my best friends (these do not include the Muruku sisters because they are several levels up), this one particular one I feel constantly goes underappreciated. So this one goes out to you, my very own Matcha Dude.  I still remember the first time we met, You still had a thing for wearing caps backwards, On you, a friend of mine her eye she had set, To which I kept pushing her towards. We had stood in line together to get food, And you were gracious enough to let me go first, I should have known from then on our relationship would be good, You even got me a drink to quench my thirst. You made it a point to be there at every birthday, Maybe not physically but always in some way, Then you went back to India & came back with a pink saree, Just because I said I wanted one off-handedly. You’re always so attentive & you constantly check up on me, Those conversations on Messenger at 3am as you kept me ...

This one's for you Porky.  So, this one should be easy, I'm hoping it doesn't turn out cheesy, Having you as a friend is amazing, Indeed you are a blessing, Like how big boss would always say, You are a big part of who I am today. Dear You, You've got people who love you, So no need to care about them fools, You've got people who would do anything to see you smile, For you, they'd even go the extra mile. You are destined for greatness, so don't compromise, You deserve everything nice so don't let anybody tell you otherwise, When you feel like you can't go on, Always remember you have us to fall back on. I know being friends with me is not easy, For that I am sorry, So let me just say thank you, And I can't wait till we get the sausage dog that we'll name Shitty Poo too! - JN 1.00am, 22/9/2015 (Tuesday) Home, Kelana Jaya

I have many circles of friends and they all mean just as much to me. None less but always more. I may not spend equal amounts of time with all but I do treasure the times we do get to be with each other and the moments we have together. Here is to you my best friends. This is in no particular order. The Muruku Sisterhood: Sheril & Jo The Patchtovaya Alumni: Aby Waby, Kavi, Margie, Anna Banana The Freakilicious Babes: Vicky, Paula, Pris, Kamal and Thigs. Familia: Miz B +G and Lynnz CU then n now: Jo Ey and Talitha Adrian L. Kamini K. Max the Matcha Dude Ian Dusty O. Dear friend, dear companion, Uncommon to popular opinion, I don't have one or two or three of you, I actually have a few. So many phases in life so far, And at that time, that is where you are, You and I met, That was the start of that. No matter when, no matter where, You were and will always be there, For me to hear you out, No matter if you are ...

My two sisters have wrote their poems about being 'fine'. I guess here is mine. It is a different take on the word 'fine'. I think here is where I draw the line. To many times I see women being objectified for the way they look, it's not wrong to dress well and feel good about yourself. It doesn't mean we want to be made objects. Sorry for being too straight forward and I hope I am not being offensive with this piece . Peace out. # feministrant Dang girl, don't you look fine... I shrug at that very line. Mmmhh...Check out that junk... How about, I throw you in the trunk. Man... I wanna smack that, Man. Don't you make me attack. Chill girl, dont be trippin' Please, you can run along skippin'. Some males really have no tact, Yes, I know that for a fact. The choice of words they say, I hope they don't take this the wrong way. I appreciate the compliments, But I'm not one of your condiments. For y...

Sometimes, there are things you want to write but the words just don't come out right.  I read pieces by friends, And I think, "Why can't you write like that?" So beautiful the words simply just flow, A writer's equivilant to Van-Gogh. Like when you read a really great book for the first time, Or hear a poem so perfectly rhymed, You don't say it but you think it, You have something to believe in again.                                           I want to write something that means something to someone,       I want to write blind faith or just a moment of clarity, I want to write that heartbreak where you feel like you can't go on, I want to write love in all its insanity. But I can't. - JN 11.53pm, 14/9/2015 (Monday) Home, Kelana Jaya

Love isn't something to be declared, sometimes it is quiet satisfaction.  She laid idly in bed, and closed her eyes. She heard John croon in the background. “Gravity is working against me”  Damn right John. That’s how she felt about him. Like she fell at an uncontrollable pace, and the impact was hard. She heard him tapping on his touchpad. She heard the swift tap on the keyboard, harder than the touchpad tap. You had to listen hard for the touchpad tap, because he was gentle on it, like he was gentle with her. She heard him sing along with John. It wasn’t so much singing as muttering in tune. It was a different song now. “You love, who you love, who you love.”   It is Katy’s verse now in the song, and Katy sings that her boy ain’t the one that she saw coming. True that, Katy. She definitely did not see this one coming. She flipped on her belly. She took in the sight of the back of his head, and of him working profusely on his laptop. She glanced at th...

31st August and 16th September are crucial days in the history of Malaysia . The day the Malaya gained independence and the formation of Malaysia . Many events,   developments and changes have happened over the year . Some good , some bad , some insignificant and some changed the nation . To the people.. Love your country. Keep it peaceful and tension -free. It's more than waving multicoloured cloths. Or taking out history books eaten by moths. It's more than showing up in a sea of people. It's making a change that will cause a ripple. It's about unity and respect. Being wise about who you elect. Being a good citizen. Don't make noise without reason. Having acceptance amongst cultures. Embracing all their unique features. United as one people who love their nation. Who will serve their nation with passion. Patriotism in its finest manner. ...

No matter what happens in life and what may come in Your way , there is only one thing that remains the same , yesterday , today and forever more . That one thing is God . His love won't waver , it's unconditional and it doesn't change depending on what you have done or will do . He is the rock which keeps me steady in the midst of adversities . Right above me a grey cloud, The thunder roaring aloud, The dark sky's enclosing shroud, Still I stand strong and proud. Should I search for shelter? As people run helter-skelter, The winds begin to whirl swifter, Still I stand with my svelter. Am I without fear? For these storms that draw near, There I am at the pier, Still thinking if my life is dear. I may not see the cloud's silver lining, For God's light I am still finding, His love is forever binding, Still for Him I am longing. Indeed I know, storms He will calm, Through it all...

A conversation between The Muruku Sisterhood actually sparked this piece. As I said in my piece about them, they always push me to be the best I can be.  She vowed she'd take baby steps, It was part of her conquering fears project, She'd sometimes slip up, But she never gave up. To break out of her shell, She knew she'd have to fight like hell, Everyday she tries, It didn't bother her that no one saw how hard she tried. She was slowly getting there, taking it day by day She didn't care if she had to do it alone, She'd found a thrill in conquering the unknown, Maybe someday she'll actually fulfill the dream of going to the US of A. She was happy with her progress, She will not digress, Cause for once in so many years, This girl felt fearless. Sunshine, rainbow and butterflies, She's back to looking on the bright side of things, Her happiness project before things got out of hand, Back to being the queen of Happyland. She is a wo...

My first attempt at a poem in Bahasa Melayu. I've always admired people who could write in the language, it is seriously a very beautiful language, and so naturally poetic already. I bet you there are grammatical errors of sorts in this, but I guess I had to start somewhere.  Saya ingin mengenalimu, Mengenali matamu, Apa yang membuat matamu bersinar, Adakah ia sepinggan makanan ataupun sekuntum mawar? Saya ingin mengenali cara berbahasmu, Intonasi suara mu yang merdu dan ayu, Adakah suaramu bertukar nada pabila kamu gembira? Dan jikalau kamu sedih adakah kamu terdiam saja? Saya ingin mengenali tabiatmu, Yang baik dan juga yang buruk, Adakah kamu suka berkemas di tengah malam? Ataupun tunggu sampai hujung minggu untuk membasuh seluar dalam? Saya ingin mengenalimu, Keseluruhanmu, jiwa dan raga, Dan jikalau kamu sudi mengenaliku, Mungkin kamu boleh mengenali hatiku juga. - SB 2.36am, 7th August 2015 Ghetto HQ

In honor of our 1000 views, we wrote this piece together. It's a poem about persevering in times of uncertainty, while the world is watching you take the stage.  T'was a tale of two cities of two people both so witty, Both commanding the stage, coming out of their present rage, One was centred, collected, levelled and believing to be better, Unfortunately the other was uncertain and undecided on the scripts of this matter Fleeting fancies and pretty pansies have left the scene The heart of stone with a soul sick to the bone has entered stage left. Let us seek the non-humorous comedies and find solace in this so called tragedy, Go forth, write and soothe your soul. The words so pretty were just lines of a script, The actor says them convincingly but the audience catch on pretty quick, Dear leading lady, don’t believe all those lofty words of love, When the scene comes to a close, he will take flight like a dove. The stage reeks of the stench of...

Summer time is here , when the sun shines all day long , the heat gets unbearable , the tan gets grilling and people come back home from abroad . I started writing poetry about seasons when I was back in Russia , it's time I completed it . Here is ' Sweet Summer Time' ! It's summer time, summer time madness, Where hearts are filled with so much gladness, Time to pack up, leave the sadness. Look at the sun, how bright it's shining, Shake it off, shake it off, stop whining, Here is a chance for many beginnings. For most it is the best season to travel, Time for adventures and mysteries to unravel, To get fresh experiences and walk on new gravel. You can go anywhere, c'mon be daring, Go alone, in a group or in a pairing, Just don't be in your room and blank staring. And again is that time of year, Where everything is shifting gear, New games, new shows, new lines, new frontiers. It's the ti...

A couple of days ago there was a challenge set by PoemPorn on twitter about writing a poem with the theme Survive September. I wrote the first verse of this poem for that challenge and decided to finish it later that day.  I had a dream about you yesterday, It always ends the same way, It made me remember, But its okay, I'll survive September. Today I saw pictures of you with her, I guess that was some sort of closure, She's pretty, I'm just glad you're happy. I hope she thinks it's the best feeling, Waking up and falling asleep to your voice, I hope she falls head over heels, Over your handsome boyish grin, I hope she knows how lucky she is, Being able to share everything with you, I hope she knows how lucky she is, When you tell her your mother approves of the two of you. I hope she tells you all her fears, And she conquers them with you, I hope that even after two years, She can't stand to be apart from you. Moving on is hard, The ...

Parents sometimes have a way of imposing onto you beliefs that are not your own. Sometimes, it creates a horrifying feeling of inadequacy because you feel like a disappointment for not conforming or believing in the same principles they do. I struggled terribly with this all my life, and to a certain extent I still do. I wrote this as an attempt to let go of that feeling. Fingers crossed. You preach religion and rights and wrongs, Trying to tell me that my faith isn’t strong, Just because I’ve chopped off all my hair, Doesn’t mean I don’t believe in a higher power up there. You make faces at me when I go out in a spaghetti strap, Make me feel like I am living in a trap, You try to stifle me by telling me you don’t like my look, Because it doesn’t adhere to the guidelines listed in your holy book. You send me passive-aggressive Whatsapps in group chats, And paper my Facebook wall with the same opinions, I try my best to avoid any public spats, But I need to get out of th...