Quarter Life Crisis

It's supposed to be the norm to have a crisis when you turn 25. My "crisis" didn't begin when I turned 25. It's been going on for a while but got amplified when I turned 25. People also say that once you turn 25 you are supposed to be more mature and wiser, I don't feel that way at all. I feel the same as I always have. I don't know if is a quarter life crisis but here is my version of it. 

They say when you turn twenty five you're supposed to have a crisis,
A milestone for surviving a quarter of a century in this world,
I'm hanging by a thread,
Does that count?

They say I am suddenly supposed feel older and more mature,
But I feel the same as I was yesterday and today,
I probably will feel the same way tomorrow,
I don't feel older or wiser, I feel jaded.

They say I should have accomplished something by now,
Done something to change the world somehow,
But I have done nothing of that sort,
Most days I fall short.

Everyone around me is doing something great,
They're either having a baby or getting married,
Or moving far up the career ladder,
Then there's me.

Everyday I wonder what am I doing with my life,
Most days I wake up in the middle of the night,
Hyperventilating and covered in sweat,
A wave of panic then washes over me.

Time is passing me by,
I'm starting to lose faith,
I feel defeated,
Everyday I ask myself if there is anything I can do to change this.

When I feel the anxiety begin to hit,
I take a deep breath,
I tell myself that the best is yet to come,
Whatever happens, I know I'll get through it.

 - JN
12.50am, 1/7/2016 (Friday)
Home, Kelana Jaya

JN is the one who doesn't take chances, but she's working on that. She's powering through life, one day at a time. Even with all that life throws her, you'll always see her with a smile. She's a hopeless romantic, hopeless beyond repair. You may say she's a dreamer, but she's got her feet on the ground.


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