Shallow

I've had my fair share of fake friends & people who just live to be on the surface. This is to them.

I cannot imagine what it is like to be you.

To fill my days with hipster events just to be seen as alternative and different, as opposed to really being different.
To sit & constantly make up problems to make it seem like you’re a real person, with issues.
To externally proclaim that you don’t judge, whilst internally judging everyone around you.
To have such a high regard of yourself that every man who approaches is of standards too low.

I don’t know how to be you.

I don’t know how to live on artisan coffee and cake on a daily basis, and not get fat.
I don’t know how to say I don’t care about my looks then spend all my time outside complaining about how ugly I look.
I don’t know how to put on a smile and say “I’m here for you”, then roll my eyes the minute the person’s back is turned.
I don’t know how to proudly proclaim singledom but not be comfortable sitting in a restaurant alone.

You could never be me.

You could never feel the depths of emotion that I feel, to the extent that I feel them.
You could never sit still and listen to a person and try to imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes, because your head is too full of yourself.
Your heart will never bleed for a friend like mine does when one of my friends pours their heart out to me.
You could never wake up in the morning, feel like you’re dying, but still get up and take a shower and get on with it.

But it doesn’t really matter.

You contribute nothing to the betterment of my life, but you exist to balance society & the cosmos.
You exist to keep café’s open and I exist to open people’s minds.
We both serve a function, one no less than the other.
But try to be my friend? Please don’t bother.

- SB
5.36pm, 2nd January 2016
123 Gasing
SB is a conflicted soul of sorts, who is mad enough to go chase after what she really loves as opposed to conform to society and her mother's idea of a successful person. She prays she makes it in life, because she will not be able to tolerate the nagging that would follow if she doesn't. Her inspiration comes from everything around her, as well as made up situations in her head. Good luck distinguishing between the two. 

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