The Things I Will Never Say Pt.1

When you're on the receiving end of a break, it's difficult. No, it's difficult for both sides. But when you're forced to sit & wait on a decision, your brain kind of goes into overdrive, and you go into shambles. There are so many things you want to say, but never will. So instead, you write them down, and call it poetry. 

I cried after you left today.
It felt like a bomb had gone off in my chest.
The pain hit me the minute the door closed, and I cried for a good two hours.

I went to dinner and made aggressive jokes.
I shouldn't have been so mean but I was.
I decided to take out my anger on apples and cut fruits in a mildly violent manner.

I came home & felt really lost.
My heart was aching for you and I was trying my best to ignore it.
I couldn't.

I decided to watch Rent and cry at Adam Pascal singing for Rosario Dawson instead.
You are the Roger to my Mimi, and without you, much like Mimi,
I will only know the lonely colour of blue.

At about 130am I decided to check your last seen on WhatsApp.
You had been online a mere four minutes ago.
I know tonight I will not get a text or a call goodnight.
 And that pierces through my heart once again.

I am not sure if I will sleep well tonight, if I sleep at all.
I feel like a sitting duck, in all my uncertainty and devastation.
You have ruined me.

I am waiting for a phone call to make me whole again, or the sight of your face.
I don't know when either will come.
But I will sit and wait, anyway.

Fuck you. It's okay.

- SB
1.54am, 13th Sept 2015
Ghetto HQ


SB is a conflicted soul of sorts, who is mad enough to go chase after what she really loves as opposed to conform to society and her mother's idea of a successful person. She prays she makes it in life, because she will not be able to tolerate the nagging that would follow if she doesn't. Her inspiration comes from everything around her, as well as made up situations in her head. Good luck distinguishing between the two. 


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