The Muruku Murmurations

This piece is written for those who will be going for HSG's EMERGE camp that started today. Take my word for it, it will be the life changing experience you need go emerge from where you are to glory from glory . Emerge: 1. To move out from something and become visible. 2. To become apparent prominent. 3. To recover or survive a difficult situation. Are we of no value? Uncensored, uncultured, Rude and crude, No respect for the words of the pew. Are we a people of empty space, Differentiation of race, Nothing deeper than the surface. Taking things at our own pace. The fact is, you are running a race, Just run at your own pace, You will emerge champions, Fighting the good fight of faith. Are we... a group that walks aimlessly in life? Feeling like we are just running away, Not knowing the way we should go, So undecided, unable to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. They say... We are so tempered with the way we feel, Just going with the flow, Conformed to t...

This is written in honour of my Superhero.  Let me tell you a story, One that is very dear to me, It's about a superhero, Okay, here goes. My superhero may seem quite ordinary, Not like someone from all those movies, With the superhero wearing their underwear on the outside, And a sidekick with them at all times. My superhero does everything single handedly, She does everything efficiently and quick, All while seeming so carefree, She doesn't need a sidekick. My superhero may be human, She's had her fair share of hardship even, But she has never once given up, And that is the way she brought me up. My superhero defines the word sacrifice, Because that's what she had to do all her life, But she never once looked for pity, She just continues rescuing her own version of Gotham City. My superhero may not wear a cape, But make no mistake, Without a doubt she is superhuman, My very own mother, my Wonder Woman. - JN 11.40am, 29/10/2015 (Thursd...

It was on call for SY on one side of town, SB and JN had a long day on the other. It was time to call it a night after a days worth of work and of course getting excited over poetry. The week was a buzz because we were about to release our 30 Day letter challenge pieces. SB: Hang in there Aunty Swit, Please don't think in rhyme, Diagnosis in poetry might even be a small crime, I sleep now, okay Jo? To bed you should also go. JN: Good night you two, I shall head to bed too, Hang in there, Aunty Swit, Only a few more hours till you get to go home and sleep. SY: We have caught the P oetricus rhymicus virus, Three cheers to us, New rhymes all this week, Let's push on till we reach our peak, Bon nuit Mon Cheris, We'll swing tonight to the tunes of the 20's. -  Sherjoyen Wobustamy Written at 02:52H on 22nd September 2015 Everywhere

Inspired by a photo taken by a good friend.  Go on pretty girl, get into the water, Let the waves crash into you, and feel yourself sink, It's alright, there is enough ocean to hold you. Go on young heart, hold steady in what you feel, Let the sounds of the waves hitting the sand drown out everything else, Listen to the sound within. Feel that sand between your toes sweetie, Let your heart burst into fragments of emotions that you feel, The ocean can take it, so can the sky. Bury your toes onto that sea shore darling, Stand firm against the adversities you might face, They will pass, but you make sure you're still there when they are gone. It's alright if you get drenched, if water gets into your nose and chokes you, In the end, the tide will recede, there will be a calm, And in the end - there will be you, and you would have made it. So go on, get in the water. What's the worst that could happen? - SB 5.18pm, 14th September 2015 Ghetto...

Today's letter is to Mama Russia. My time with her is where I have seen, learned, grown and become who I am today. Because of that opportunity, I had the privilege to meet people who have enriched my life and experienced countless things that have made me to what you see before you. Дорогая, дорогая Мама Россия, Как у вас дела? по тебе я  скучаю всегда, Я сказала до свидания слишком скоро. Translation: Dear, dear Mama Russia, How are things with you? I miss you always, I said goodbye to soon. [ Dorogaya, dorogaya Mama Rossiya, Kak u vas dela? Po tebye ya skuchayu vsegda , Ya skazala Do svidaniya slishkom skora .] I have known you existed long before I met you, So many talk about you and made you a popular feature, Never did I think I would have the chance to encounter you, Fresh out of school back then, it became real in the very near future. It was spring when I met you about eight years ago, A stranger so foreign beyond what I could ima...

I put off writing this poem because I couldn't take the pressure. I still can't. But I realized he probably would never read it anyway. But then again, he is an all-seeing kind of person so you never know. Here's to the man who gave me many opportunities, opened my eyes to new things and new places, and my mind to so much more than that.  This poem is written in haste, So it might not be very good or to your taste, Your critical point of view is the yardstick & this poem will not reach that bar, Trust me – this is a mediocre piece by far. As I sit here to write this I am already filled with anxiety, Your one judgement outweighs all of society, But because this is a challenge that I must complete, You steely stare in my head I must defeat. I met you three years ago when I was barely a first year, Your first lecture itself had inflicted an appropriate amount of fear, If only we had all known it was part of your social experiment, To separate...

To the Big Guy upstairs, thank you for always finding ways to show me you care. It may not seem like much but, it has gotten me through so much. This one is for you, Without you, I wouldn't have made it through, Even though I don't deserve everything you do for me, You hear my every plea and in your time you answer me. You're always there for me, Even when I am not worthy, You seem to have a knack, For letting me know you always got my back. I will never forget the day I heard that phrase, "I love you and you are mine" you said, Every day I replay that in my head, Because it was the day that I truly felt your grace. As cliche as it may be, You have changed me, And every day in every way, My demons you help me slay. - JN 11.40pm, 26/10/2015 (Monday) Home, Kelana Jaya

This was how I felt when I was in a long distance relationship. Back then I never knew if he knew or if he felt the same. There was so much at stake when things were starting off and in the end, he still never would have known. From the day I met you, I wondered if what I felt was true, Every part of you, made me want you more, Wish I could call you Mi Amour. I stood in the middle of the street, Thinking if we will ever meet, Cars passed by fleet by fleet, Along with the sound of my heartbeat. You don't know how much I miss you, You don't know how I long for you, You don't know what it's like being away, You don't know how I get through the day. The way your fingers ran along my arm, The way your voice rang with charm, You held me close away from harm, You kept me safe in your arms. The way your hands held me tight, You'll be my breath, you'll be my light, It's your touch that made me feel at home, You reminded me that...

I was watching these two flowers sway in the wind side by side and  I wondered what they would say if they could talk.  What's the story Morning Glory? Why so gloomy?  It's a beautiful day, Come on, let's go out and play. Nothing's up, Buttercup, I'm just feeling a little stuck, I don't feel like going out to play, I am starting to wither away. Oh Morning Glory, yes life is pretty mundane,          But when seasons change, we too change, And while that happens we do look a little strange,  But don't worry, soon it will be spring again. Thank you dear Buttercup,  You always know how to cheer me up, Seasons come and go,  But we'll always be friends, that much I know. Anytime Morning Glory, The world can sometimes be scary,  But you'll get through anything, Be it winter, fall, summer or spring. - JN 2.40pm, 21/10/2015 (Wednesday) Home, Kelana Jaya

It is amazing what unconditional love can make a person do, even when it means putting someone else's happiness before your own. But essentially, that is what love is. Consideration for another person, more than for yourself.  The first time you had said it, I thought it was a line. Smiling is not common for people with resting bitch faces, In fact it’s a lot of effort. To display our feelings on our faces like that. The contorting of the muscles and the stretch of the lip. Such effort. I realized however I enjoyed that look you had on when I smiled, Your eyes brimming with wonderment at the possibility of my face creating such a smile, Like it was the most fantastic thing you’ve seen all day. I liked that feeling, like you thought I was fantastic. I realized also I started to smile a lot more. Around you, talking about you, thinking about you. It was like my brain had fixated that facial expression to you, And every time you came to mind, a smile came t...

Today, I write to the two people who have done all they can to bring me up and formed my life today. I would not be here literally and figuratively without them. Dear Mummy, Just as you are, you are the light of my world thus far. Only you know me inside and out, in the times when I am silent and aloud. All your days you spend for us, giving; loving; supporting; working; you make it look so effortless. Nobody I know has shown so much endurance, on top of that patience and faithfulness. Never a dull day when it is spent with you, your point of view is enlightening and always true. Even though people may have their status quo, you will stand up for what is right and say 'no'. Chaos was never a taste you enjoyed, you will always have a plan to deploy. Heavy is the duty of a wife, mother, daughter, even more the daughter-in-law, you still do it better and complain no more. Every way you are is lovable, you are truly nothing short of incredible. Every day I am tha...

My relationship with my parents is unconventional at the least. But making a documentary about their relationship two years ago really changed the way I looked at their relationship, and also at them. This is a tribute to that kind of love, that only Bronson & Ghetto Mum have.  You are the movie stars of my life, The unconventional husband & wife, Both tempers equally strong, Somewhere in the middle do I belong. Your differed principles sometimes lead to heated debate, But you both never forget all the important dates, To the world it seems you are practical by far, But I've bore witness to the romantics that you are. You have shown me that in hard times two people can still stick together, And face all sorts of petty remarks as well as bad weather, Its not about compatibility, it is about choice, And sometimes it is about letting your wife raise her voice. I applaud you for blending the East Coast & Hakka incredibly well, If these years have been dif...

Here's to the two I call Mums and Papa. Dysfunctional as we may be, there is no other way I would want it to be.  Even though we always had it rough, You both always made sure we had enough, There are no words to describe you two, No, not even the words heaven sent will do. I've never seen two people as tough as you two, Powering through all life threw at you, Life hasn't been easy, that much is true, But yet here you both are, still pulling through, For everything you've done for me, Eternally grateful I will forever be, I will never be able to repay you two, All I can say is thank you and I love you. - JN 12.40am, 20/10/2015 (Tuesday) Home, Kelana Jaya

The place where I find peace and strength to go on every day is when I spend time in God's presence. It is where I leave all my burdens, leave all that pulls me down and where I fill my heart with love again. During that quiet time with God is where my soul finds rest and my mind is made clear. Is there a place for the insane to be sane? Is there a place where patients won't feel pain? Is there a place for the weary to be strengthened? Is there a place for the obtuse to be enlightened? Is there a place for the lost to belong? Is there a place where people get along? Is there a place where none do you wrong? Is there a place for us to sing our song? There is a place, a very safe place, Filled with hope, peace and grace, Where the past disappears without a trace, A place where I see Your face. A place where you are there, You are omnipresent everywhere, Through the darkness I can bear, It is Your armour that I will wear. Glory, glory to you alone...

The dark side is not a place to be. Some days you feel yourself cave in to the dark side but then you fight it.  Everybody has got a dark side, I don't think you'd want to meet mine, So I try to keep it locked away, But it always begs to come out and play. Everyday is a constant battle, Between good and evil, And although evil is shackled, It finds a way to be lethal. After a while the line between good and evil begins to blur, And I start to shiver, I push and push until I almost crack, But I never heard the invisible snap. Like the Hulk, I then began to rage, And evil breaks out of its cage. And then I lose all control I had, That's when it gets really bad. But then I realize there is a choice, And I scream for it to stop with all my voice, I fight with all my will, Until the monsters in my head are all killed. - JN 2.00am, 15/10/2015 (Thursday) Home, Kelana Jaya

So remember that night we had our poetry hangover? This was why. We wanted to come up with something that really celebrates our diversity and fight the racial stereotypes that people sometimes try to put us in. So collectively, this is what we came up with. Love each other you guys, it's important :)  They say I'm Indian, But I didn't quite fit the description, In fact, the only thing Indian about me was the colour of my skin, My skin, the colour of mahogany, I was told I should use fair and lovely, Even so, I never did fit in, I never wore a pottu on my forehead, Or as people called it, "The dot on the head" To top it all off, I didn't speak Tamil, When I did, my family said I sounded mentally ill, So when I ordered my food in English or Malay, People would look at me with such dismay, "And she calls herself Indian" they'd shake their head and say. After church every Sunday, I'd eat Nasi Lemak or Wantan Mee, But nothing...

There's that incredibly cliche saying that goes "it is easy to fall in love but it is hard to stay in love", or something like that. I find that to be incredibly true. Once the initial spark and high wears off and difficult circumstances kick in, the true test of Forever takes play, and not everyone passes with flying colours. But sometimes, just sometimes, your partner will give you a reason to hold on and get through every day, and make it so easy.  It is the middle of the week and we’re both swamped with work, One of those weeks where any form of sleep is considered a perk, I arrive home at one am after the day has milked me like a cow, And there you are with a sleepy smile on your face and beef kuey teow. It is 6pm and I haven’t heard from you all day, I’m more or less sure I’ve completely slipped your mind, Then you call me despite having nothing much to say, Except for a few words of encouragement that I return in kind. It is Monday and tonig...

This letter is for the woman I don't have a conventional relationship with. Every time I want to say all these things to her, I chicken out. Maybe one day, I will.   Even though I've never said I love you,   I try to show it in the things I do,         Every day I wish you knew, The great lengths I would go for you.   I know I'm not what you expected, But I try to appear unaffected, I would walk through fire for you, But sometimes I feel you only see what the others do. When things get rough, And I feel like I will never be enough, I read the letter you wrote to me, And it always helps me. I know I don't say I love you, Cause that's not what I do, But I want you to know, There's not a day where I don't look up to you. - JN 2.00am, 13/10/2015 (Tuesday) Home, Kelana Jaya

Stay with a person long enough & they inseminate themselves into your soul, your life, your body & your mind. It might not have been a great idea, you might not be compatible, but it doesn't change the fact that that person is a part of you, and has a part of you, and no matter what happens - you'll always feel that.  I think about you. When I’m driving on the highway or manoeuvring a trail on foot, I think of you. You are still the voice of guidance in my head, Every piece of advice you ever gave that you thought I didn’t heed, I do. Every day. In the little things I do, you live. I dream about you. In that weird place where we still exist & you still hold my hand, I dream about you. I hear your laugh & I see that chuckle, the one you throw your whole body into. I wake up happy at the thought that I once caused that. I check up on you. In downtimes & before I go to bed, I still open up your Twitter & see what’s new. I c...

This is probably a letter to myself, afraid of letting myself feel so much again, afraid to admit the thoughts I can have and let my soul be alive again. There are things better left unspoken, if not better just get them written. I want to say the many things in my head, Of my thrilling thoughts and fluttering imaginings, But to tell you the truth I'm quite afraid, It's more about what I can or cannot say, Some words not meant to be spoken but dying to leave these lips, Maybe I will try in this letter today. I do remember the last I felt this way, When my heart would ache at the absence of your presence, I remember the excitement that would last through the day, To justify the way I feel is not fair, Because of so many reasons and circumstances, But I indulge in it anyway without a care. I wish this could be taken lightly like a dare, You say it, we do it, its over, cest la vie , It quite exceeds the amount that I can bear, The way my heart accelera...

It started of as getting to know another human. T hen this particular human became a friend. T hen this friend became a human interest. Then this human interest became the only interest. Then people lost interest and now it's all in the past . Here is a throwback poem on what was then and now back then. Finally morning came, I woke up bright eyes open, Thinking you'd be next to me, Somehow it feels the same, Then reality starts to thicken, It was all a dream you see. The most anticipated week, I recall that very day, When we met and spoke, A chance for our hearts to speak, What we longed to say, All exposed, nothing overlooked. We were in each others comfort, When we held each other, We were in our own world, Without a single effort, We left everything that was a bother, We were all that mattered in the world. I remembered your face, You smiled so pleasantly, But your eyes showed grief, You walked to the curb at your pace, You turned and saw ...

Double standards always suck. It's just one of those days where you just need to get that rant out of your system before you explode.   This thing called double standards is real, I hate the way it makes me feel, Don't tell me its all in my head, Walk a mile in my shoes then come talk to me instead. It happens almost daily, Most times it drives me crazy, Don't tell me to get over it, It still makes me feel like shit. I tried to let it slide, I really tried, Don't tell me I should ignore it, Try being me for a bit. - JN 4.30pm, 7/10/2015 (Wednesday) Home, Kelana Jaya.

Ever have a conversation with your friend via rhyme? Well JN & SY did, in double time!  Hi Jo! How are you today? I'm good but the sky is a little grey, Just as long as you are okay, I'll be okay. Busy day today? It's a slow day but there is work to be done, But I do have time to have a little fun, Ooo... Like enjoy poems and play with puns, Yeah sorta... Gonna let this course run. I hope you managed to grab some lunch, I guess you can count two buns as brunch? Two buns is hardly brunch but that's just a hunch, Yeah, I feel like getting something with more crunch. *British accent* Oh my goodness! Forgive me, in all my rudeness. Hrmm... What is it your royal highness? What is behind all this shyness? I forgot to ask you how you are? Ahahah.. Small matter my friend, I'm OK so far. That's good. Hang it there...sometimes we just got to sabar. So Jo,...

Sometimes in relationships, you hit this weird in-between. This threshold between holding on and letting go. Nothing is particularly wrong, yet everything feels horrifying and fragile, like it's going to fall apart. You go through the motions, yet it feels inherently wrong. Sometimes, you never know when the Goodbye you say, is the last.  Today I said goodbye to you. It was like any other goodbye we have ever said, Where you look me in the eye, and you softly graze my cheek, Before you very lightly kiss me on the forehead, And hold me tight. Usually I say goodbye to you with a certain amount of certainty, I know when I will see you next, and I know what you would be like. I know you would grin that boyish grin the moment you lay eyes on me, And envelope me in your arms and inhale the scent of my hair. You’ll stroke my head gently as you ask me how my day was, And look just above the tip of my head, at what – I’ll never know, You’ll then plant a kiss on ...

Some friends you grow to love in ways more than friendly, but that doesn't necessarily mean they'll feel the same way or reciprocate. And yet, there's always that tension between the two of you, but it's not meant to be anything but an almost almost. This is to my own Almost Almost, whom I will probably never shake off, no matter how hard I try.  Kamu tidak pernah menjadi kekasihku, Kamu  mengata yang itu bukan untukmu, Hanya sahabat yang kurang memberi waktu, Perasaanku kamu tak akan tahu. Betapa mendalam ku mencintaimu, Betapa ku ingin kamu berada di sisiku, Di dalam kegelapan malam yang sunyi, Ku mengharap kamu akan membuat telefon ku berbunyi. Sudah berbulan kami tak berjumpa, Saya tidak tahu di mana kamu berada, Senyumanmu kadang kala bermain di minda, Teringatku kepadamu yang suka berjenaka. Tawamu ku mendengar lagi, Dan ku merasa duka di hati, Kepadamu hatiku tergari, Tetapi kita tidak akan menjadi. Walaupun begitu, ku tetap mencintaimu, S...

You meet someone and you have an instant connection but the timing is never right. You are a crush of the past, Sometimes I wish you would have asked, But you had a girlfriend, And to me that meant game over, the end. Even though we've lost touch, I still remember how you would blush, When you referred to you and I as us and they'd tease you, But you never stopped because you knew I liked it too. It's not something I can describe, But we had that Marshall and Lily vibe, Even though you didn't say it, I know you felt it too, Because your face and body language betrayed you. I don't know if it was all in my head, And that you were just playing along instead, I guess now we'll never know, Then again, who knows what the future holds. - JN 12.00am, 6/10/2015 (Tuesday) Home, Kelana Jaya

There are things I wished you would say to me. I hope you would read this and know who you are. It's not just what you say but how you say it and that sweeps me away. It's wishful thinking for a wishful conversation. You looked me in the eye, You heard my soft sigh, Just like that I gave it away, You some how know every day. That manner you speak in, That joy in your voice, Just that is so much win, That makes me feel I have a choice. Your hand held out, Your grip strong on me, Just pull me to another route, Your direction has security. Take me away with you, Take me anywhere away from here, Just me and you, just us two, Take me away my dear. Away, away from the noise, Away from all that annoys, Just leave the rest to hustle, Away from all the bustle. Keep me in your arms, Keep my head on your heartbeat, Just that will keep me calm, Keep me warm with your heat. Speak what's on your mind, Speak clearly on your intentions, Just...

Breath in, now, breath out, Hands up, now, hands down, Back up, back up, Tell me what you gonna do now. Oh , the classic lyrics of the evergreen Limp Bizkit song 'Rollin' just pump you up to do something. Here's how I keep on rollin '. You keep on rolling, You keep on going, You keep on moving, You keep on striving. You're rolling in the deep, With the secrets that you keep, Your heart breaths and takes a leap, Though deep inside you weep. The Rolling Stones are evergreen, Their tunes are every rockers' dream, As you go rollin' on the river, These songs will last forever. In life there's a bit of rock, Yes man, keep up with the talk, When the good times come you roll, You're words are as good as gold. You can roll a sheet of paper, While Indians roll their tongue better, You can roll your black and white dice, While you roll a pita with all that spice. Rainy days are always best, Curls up...