From SB: To The Person You Want To Tell Everything To, But Too Afraid To.

Stay with a person long enough & they inseminate themselves into your soul, your life, your body & your mind. It might not have been a great idea, you might not be compatible, but it doesn't change the fact that that person is a part of you, and has a part of you, and no matter what happens - you'll always feel that. 

I think about you.
When I’m driving on the highway or manoeuvring a trail on foot,
I think of you.
You are still the voice of guidance in my head,
Every piece of advice you ever gave that you thought I didn’t heed,
I do. Every day. In the little things I do, you live.

I dream about you.
In that weird place where we still exist & you still hold my hand,
I dream about you.
I hear your laugh & I see that chuckle, the one you throw your whole body into.
I wake up happy at the thought that I once caused that.

I check up on you.
In downtimes & before I go to bed, I still open up your Twitter & see what’s new.
I check up on you.
I casually drop your name with our mutual friends & ask how you are.
I don’t decipher what it all means, I just want to know.

I look for you.
In the familiar places and on highways and on the number plates of silver cars,
I look for you.
I imagine what it would be like to see you again & I smile to myself,
Because the idea of seeing you again is both exhilarating yet terrifying all at the same time.

I sing about you.
In the lyrics of those songs I grew to love like I loved you, I belt you out.
I sing about you.
In songs I discovered after us but couldn’t share with you because there was no more us.
I still sing loud with every ounce of feeling, because I still feel for you.

I will never tell you,
Never tell you that even though we couldn’t be together, I still love you with all I’ve got.
I will never tell you.
You will never know that I want more than anything to be someone in your life again, just not The One.
Because you’re still someone to me.

- SB
2.42am, 14th October 2015 (Wednesday)
Ghetto HQ


SB is a conflicted soul of sorts, who is mad enough to go chase after what she really loves as opposed to conform to society and her mother's idea of a successful person. She prays she makes it in life, because she will not be able to tolerate the nagging that would follow if she doesn't. Her inspiration comes from everything around her, as well as made up situations in her head. Good luck distinguishing between the two. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Siren Serenade

This Is Malaysia

Swinging From Memory To Memory